I haven't blogged in what seems like
forever and I feel awful. I didn't stop because I finished the bucket
list or because I am so happy so happy with myself that I just
stopped. Life just got in the way, plain and simple. During the past
month or so, I have changed jobs and just tried to stay busy. The
busier I am the less my mind wanders.
Occasionally though my mind did wonder.
After you break up with someone it is only natural to reflect on what
drew you to that person and what pushed you away. A lot of people
don't sit and think what they want in a person, they are just happy
to have anyone there. Sometimes I wish I could be that way but I am
stubborn and I know what I want and I that is what I have to have.
So here is the start of list of wants:
I want someone who is educated. I used
to think this meant someone who went to college. As I get older I
realize there is so much learning out there that is not in a
classroom. So as long as they are a life
long learning that would make me happy.
I want someone who gets along and loves
his family. I regularly hang out with my cousin and my mom is like
one of my best friends. DB rarely hung out with his family and it was
so foreign to me. I want my partner's family to feel like my family.
If he leaves the room I don't want it to feel awkward. I want the
same warmth I get from my mother.
I want someone who enjoys the little
things in life, like a Sunday drive or a walk in the woods. In the
same token I want someone who can make any situation fun. If we are
walking by a band playing grab my hand and dance along. I love
someone who just takes life in and lives every moment. I want
spontaneity and kept me on my toes. Who would randomly drive hours to
go someone we saw on TV. Someone who plans surprises for me and I
don't always have to think of what to do.
I think every few weeks I'll reflect on
what I want in a partner.
Like I said before I feel like a lot of
people don't want to be alone so they cling to anyone. Hell, I went
through this a few months ago. You really need to reflect on what you
want and need in a partner. So that years down the line when things
are falling a part you are not looking at this person and thinking
“Why did I pick you?”
A big part of knowing what you want is
knowing who you are. Sometimes I feel like along the way I lost
myself. The past few months this journey helped me realize who I am
and who I want to be. I look forward to a new year or change and
getting to know myself better.
